Weekly Highlights from our Conservative Overlords

Weekly Highlights from our Conservative Overlords

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Groove - Week 60 - June 18-25

Man.  60 weeks.  Can you believe that?  Maybe we will make it through all of this after all?
And how do we celebrate 60 weeks?  By passing the dreaded Copyright law.  I guess it could have been worse.  But how is this going to work?  Are companies just going to arbitrarily be able to send people a letter demanding $5000 for infringement?  Will there be a new government copyright enforcement agency set up.

So let's get this straight.  A few years ago, Jim Flaherty decides to loosen up mortgage requirements, delaying a US style housing correction for another day.  And now, just as the markets are starting to pull back, he decides that it is time to tighten up mortgage requirements in order to "cool down" the market.  This should be interesting.

More pipelines are leaking in Alberta.  It's almost like these companies have no idea what they're doing and all of their assurances that pipelines are "100% safe" are bullshit.  The cherry on top is that this one belongs to Enbridge.

I'm going to admit that I don't know a whole lot about this.  But I read Mulcair's statement and I can't help but feel like there isn't really anything wrong here with what he has said.  He's suggested that the Golden Temple "incident" is regrettable and should probably be investigated.  He hasn't said anything to suggest that events that came out of that (Air India bombing, etc.) is justified.

Stephen Harper has decided to praise a senior Mountie who was recently disciplined for bullying his employees.  Or in Stephen Harper's language, "strong-leadershipping his employees".  Another article points out that the budget for his security has doubled in the last 6 years.

Stupid experts, getting in the way of things again.  This time, ex-Directors of Fisheries are suggesting that closing a freshwater research facility is a bad idea.  Well.  They obviously have a vested interest in this and a can't be believed.  Somehow.

The Conservatives are angry at the Parliamentary Budget Officer for asking too many questions.

I'm not sure what this means.  But I don't think it is good.  The guy who appears to be heading up the Robo-Calls inquiry has quit.

This actually seems like pretty good news, in a really sad sort of way.  Stephen Harper's attempt to divide the country seem to be playing nicely with Thomas Mulcair's attempts to divide the country.  The result?  Regional support for the various parties gets a bit more entrenched.  Imagine what's going to happen when Stephen Harper realizes he doesn't need to keep anybody else besides Alberta and Saskatchewan happy?

Amazingly, in the never-apologize-for-anything world of the Conservatives, Jason Kenney actually apologized for calling the Deputy Premiere of Alberta a "complete and utter asshole".  Of course, it took several days and a whole bunch of people calling him out on it.  And after refusing to apologize several times.  So.  Really, I'm not sure if you could describe this as a "genuine apology".

Apparently our dairy and chicken farmer tariffs are keeping us out of a new Pacific Free Trade agreement.  Honestly, do we need more free trade agreements?  Why do we have chicken and dairy tariffs?

The UN has pointed out that the new law putting restrictions on freedom of assembly in Quebec kind of suck.  Of course, it's the UN pointing this out, so the right wing has to get all up in arms about this.  And basically their defense seems to be "Things are worse in Syria, so this should be okay."  Which reminds me of car ads, where they're all like "Better fuel mileage than the Chevrolet Cavalier.   Higher resale than a Ford Escort."  So...essentially this car could be 2nd worst in a whole bunch of areas is what you're telling me... Canada.  Better than the worst thing out there.

This is awesome, this Canada Revenue Agency kickback scandal.  First, I can't believe how stupid these guys would be.  Next, it's kind of awesome that it's coming to a head under the all seeing eye of Stephen Harper.

Margaret Wente claims that young people should join the Tea Party.  The holes in this argument are astonishing.  My favourite hole though, is the fact that there is no Tea Party in Canada.  And check out the comments.  One poster writes a rather long and well informed and documented piece about how the recession wasn't caused by excessive government spending on social programs and that cutting them probably isn't going to get us out of that hole.  And then people make fun of him for being stupid.  Which is pretty much the entire Internet in a nutshell.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Trolling the Comment Pages #5 - Tariffs

I actually think that people thought I was a crazed right winger with this post.  This was actually a response to some dude claiming, without provocation, that all the "lefties" were going to be up in arms about getting rid of dairy and poultry tariffs.  It seemed very arbitrary that you could just assign a position to people and then argue that they are idiots for believing in something that they never claimed to believe in.  Hence this:

This was brought up at the last Left Wing meeting a few weeks ago. I remember that it was near unanimous that all left wingers would sooner die than give up the dairy and poultry tariffs that we have fought so hard for. We couldn't come up with a rational explanation for why we would take such a position. Somebody quietly murmered "Jobs?" and we all cheered!

It's upsetting that you have stumbled upon our true intentions and pointed out how ridiculous the left wingers are for supporting the position that you've fabricated and assigned to us.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Lessons in Irony - Week 59 - June 11-18

What a fantastic week.

As the Oil Lobby (aka The Conservatives) ramp up pipeline ads on TV, the oil spill in Alberta gets worse and worse. 160-480,000 barrels of oil.  As one commenter posted "If they can clean up the Gulf, they can clean this up."  Yes indeed.  If.  Thank god we're streamlining those troublesome environmental approvals.  And, this provides a bit more insight as to why Mr. Harper is "streamlining", as some documents from a few years ago show that the Department of Fisheries and Oceans thinks that Enbridge is taking the cheap route and underestimating risks.  Obviously, we don't want to hear from those yahoos.

I'm not going to talk about the 1%.  But I am going to point you to a fantastic article that talks about the fallacies of a "merit society".  It's really great.  It's pretty easy to remain at the top when the playing field isn't level.  And you can buy an excavator to ensure that the playing field at no point ever approaches level.  And then you just run over everybody else's shit with that excavator.

And, in the spirit of not listening to scientists, the feeling is that the freshwater research facility being shutdown by the Conservatives is on the block because of their troublesome research into the oil sands.

On the topic of meddlesome losers, how about that Auditor General?  Well, he's at it again, pointing out that a number of contracts issued by Parliament and the Senate were, well, bad.

And, within a day or two of suggesting that we may be heading for a recession...again...Stephen Harper lectures the World on following the Canadian model for their economy.  This is the man that is the "steady hand on the tiller".  This is the man that somehow manages to spend like a drunken sailor while cutting actual programs.  Yes.  Follow our lead.

And where I think the problem is, well, I just think Conservatives don't know what math is.  There's Peter McKay, no link necessary.  And now, Dean Del Mastro.  He claims he spent $1575.  Receipts suggest he spent $21,000.  That's a bit of a difference.

Maybe they're catching on though?  Maybe they've recognized that they just need a bit more time to crunch some numbers and figure it out?  They've decided to delay handing out key figures on the Fighter Jet purchase.  Who needs to know that stuff in a timely fashion?

Okay.  Get this.  Chuck Strahl.  Retires from Parliament with a full pension.  Does so in a way that gives his son a massive leg up on getting nominated as the Conservative candidate.  And now he's being named as the CSIS watchdog?  Does he have law enforcement experience?  Intelligence experience?

And then what should be a big story, restricting debate on Parliamentary debate on major laws, just doesn't even matter any longer as the Conservatives do it so often.  Yes, the Conservatives are limiting the debate on the budget.  The excessively overblown budget that's massive and unwieldy.  I guess the Filibuster didn't work, but it has resulted in a marathon 24 hour vote.  And...there is actually some feeling from actual Conservatives that this may not have been worth it.

I've kind of lumped Copyright and Internet Surveillance together.  They are kind of similar.  Here Slate comments on Vic Toews using Luca Magnotti for political gains (i.e. pushing his Internet Surveillance bill through).  And the Copyright lobby pushes for more and more and more (and more) because they won't stop until we're strapped to couches with our eyelids pried open and they can just automatically siphon money out of bank accounts.  And similar things are happening in the UK.

Lets talk about drugs a bit.  I'm going to argue that the big problem with drugs isn't the actual drugs.  The big problem with drugs is that people kill people because they can make money.  Or kids buy shit laced with rat poison because some sketchy dude is selling it to them out of the back of his van.  Or people's lives are ruined because they're caught with an "illegal substance".  Or we spend millions and millions keeping people in jail.  Or property crime goes way up because people need to steal to pay for artificially elevated costs due to illegality and smuggling.  Or people don't get treated over the stigma and, once again, illegality.  So, I like that the BC Health Officer is pointing out that ecstasy isn't so bad, if you actually get ecstasy.  Not rat poison.

You know how people get riled up when Don Cherry says stuff?  Turns out he's just a crazy old man.  And that the metric system is "commie stuff".

Monday, June 11, 2012

Election Violation Beatdown - Week 58 - June 4-11

Too easy.  The Conservatives decide not to celebrate the birthday of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
Hey!  Assholes!  Your pipeline is leaking into your river.  Spin this, Enbridge.

Vic Toews.  Man.  Vic Toews.  So, he gets absolutely beat down when he suggests a Canadian Internet surveillance bill.  So, what does he do?  He creates another piece of legislation and decides to allow the American Government to have unfettered access to Canadians information without a warrant.  What a guy.

So...after months of the robo-call scandal and after an election result is cast aside due to improprieties, how do the Conservatives respond?  With sketchy robo-calls that stretch the truth.

The "steady hand" of Stephen Harper is looking a bit shaky.  Jobs numbers have come way down.  And buried in the article is a note about a huge jump in the number of self-employed people.  Which kind of suggests something to me.

Remember those ads that used to come on every once in a while, about how proud we were about our UN peacekeeping participation?  Well, we now have 42 active peacekeepers (the UN says 33, but you can't trust those guys).

Stephen Harper has taken all of this "too big to fail" stuff to heart.  He'll probably still help out some banks and mega-corporations if they get in trouble, but he doesn't feel Europe is something that deserves attention or any of our money.

Wow.  This is really great.  Stephen Harper is announcing larger fines for tainted food producers.  Of course...there won't be any inspectors to catch anybody so we'll have to wait until people actually die.

Bob Mills, an ex-Conservative MP, is speaking out on some of the Conservative's environmental ideas.  But he can't be trusted because he's a part of the liberal global warming conspiracy.

I think we've found another reason why Stephen Harper hates the Census.  It proves that Conservative voters are old people.

Elections Canada is laying the boots to not just the Conservatives, as the NDP is forced to pay back some money to unions that paid for some events.  And I'm sure this will be used as justification for Dean Del Mastro overspending on his campaign.

This is why all of this Copyright stuff is BS.  This is why you can't trust the Hollywood and Recording Industry groups that are pleading poverty.  This is why it's ridiculous that the US calls Canada a "haven for piracy" at the behest of industry organizations.  Canadians buy tonnes and tonnes of online songs.  Third in the world.  And that's not per capita, that's real numbers.

Turns out the Canadian 1% isn't even all that rich.

Remember the guy that was "high on bath salts" that chewed the other guys face off?  This story suggests that might not actually have been true.  I have no idea if this is real though.  Good thing the Conservatives are on the case though and are going to get bath salts banned.

Remember the shitstorm that happened when that BC Conservative MP suggested that the budget was flawed?  Yet somehow a backbencher was able to introduce anti-abortion legislation to Parliament and Stephen Harper is "putting heavy pressure on members of the Conservative Caucus to vote it down"?  How did it get to this point if he's so against it?  He usually hauls guys that he doesn't agree with out behind a dumpster and kneecaps them.

This just sounds like a chance to pile on Peter McKay.  I'm not sure it's that big a deal.  But, they did spend $47,000 on AV equipment for their Fighter Jet press conference.  That's to rent AV equipment.  I'm pretty sure if you gave me $47,000 I could buy all of the equipment necessary to run a press conference.  So maybe it is fair to pile on Peter McKay for this.

A bunch of websites went dark in a protest against environmental regulation changes.  And a bunch of idiots went crazy making stupid comments about it on the Internet.

Here's a petition to stop the destruction of the National Archives.  I guess it's hard to re-write history with all of those troublesome documents and records hanging around.

The NDP is going to bring the filibuster to Canada, and is planning on holding up the budget bill.

Stay away from news article comment sections.  People out there are crazy.  Just look at this article about an EU "adviser" commenting on Canada's energy plan.  Crazy.

And then look at this story about the Fish Lake mine.  Apparently anybody who thinks we should look in to things a bit before we create a mine on top of a lake is a jobless hippie.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Trolling the Comment Pages #4 - Reform MP's

This is the problem.  I can't really post comments at work so by the time I get around to it, things are already way out of control.  As Bob Mills stated that Conservative Environmental views were out of whack, this story started out sensibly but got progressively crazier.  Global warming is a liberal conspiracy, didn't you know?  And Bob Mills is making money off of his position on this panel so you can't believe what he has to say.

Can you believe the lengths that these lefty-Communists will stoop?  Take this Bob Mills guy.  He pretended to be a Reform MP for 15 Years just so he could wait until 2012 to embarrass our Supreme Leader with this treasonous announcement.  Those devious lefties can't be trusted and will go to any lengths to obtain power.

Just look at his website.

Recycling.  Car Sharing.  Government Environmental Protection.  Stupid hippie.  He needs to get a job.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Trolling the Comment Pages #3 - Airport Rents

You have to love it.  "Gosh Darn Hippies and their entitlement programs.  Why do they expect everything for free?"

It's an entitlement program if somebody else uses it.
But it's somehow unfair that the government doesn't pick up the tab for your air travel and your ticket costs a bit more?

You can't have it both ways.

Keep your government hands off my Medicare!

Monday, June 4, 2012

A Crazy Week - Week 57 - May 28 - June 4

 Doesn't this look like a guy who takes the opinions and ideas of other people seriously?

What a crazy week for Canada.  Honestly.  A male porn actor murders a man and ships his body parts to several political partiesAnd he somehow escapes to France?  How does that happen?

This made my week.  The Globe and Mail celebrity editor/caption maker/guy inserted some political commentary into this weeks celebrity photos.

Thomas Mulcair seems to be bowing to the pressure.  I'm not sure how a tour of the Oil Sands could so drastically and instantly change your talking points.  Perhaps there were 4 burly men with pipes following him around on the tour?

Oh, and apparently the fact that Thomas Mulcair has a whole bunch of mortgages means that he can't run the country.  Honestly.  How does this matter?  It's not like he's a million dollars in debt.  It's a series of mortgages that add up to $300,000.  I think the fact that he qualified for 11 mortgages actually suggests that he has a pretty good credit rating.

This is why Copyright reform angers people.  Honestly.  You're going to charge people for playing music at their weddings?  And what I love, it costs you $9.25 if your wedding is less than 100 people.  It costs you $39.  It costs you double that if you allow people to dance.  And then, if you hold an event with 100,000 people, it only costs you $42.  No word on whether or not that doubles if some people get out of hand and decide to dance.   In other Copyright news...well...see my other post.

The Conservative jackasses once again tried to shift the focus from themselves on to others.  They pointed out that the NDP hired 1 or 2 failed candidates.  Compared to the 30+ Conservatives.

Sometimes at work, when I get behind, I decide that I'm just not going to do any of the work that was assigned to me more than a few weeks beforehand.  It seems like the Conservatives think this is a pretty good idea, and to clear the backlog of immigration applications, they're going to ignore all applications made before 2008.  Essentially punishing persistence and forward planning.

There was also some talk this week on the census results and what that means to Canada.  How the distribution of different age groups will have serious impacts on the Provinces.  You know, really interesting and important information that will help plan into the future.  Thank God Stephen Harper is doing something to get rid of this!

How do you defend shutting down a probe in to your own wrong-doing?  Wait.  Lets back up.  How come the Conservatives have the ability to shut down a probe into their own wrong-doing?   Even the National Post seemed to question this.

Our good buddy Vic Toews is back in the news.  I'm not even sure what he is saying here, but he is talking about RCMP inquiries.  Which caused me to do some research.  I had no idea that he impregnated the babysitter (allegedly) which lead to his divorce (allegedly).  How does this guy get voted in and then elevated to the level of Minister?  What kind of stuff is in the closets of the other guys?  And then he tops it all off by suggesting that if he had his magic internet spying bill would help find the Porn Actor Dismemberment Killer.  Way to use a tragedy for political gain.

I will admit that it is unsettling that the UN is doing anything with Robert Mugabe.  But the fact that John Baird is just totally making things up about his reason for pulling Canada out of specific UN organizations is just as unsettling.  He said that Robert Mugabe was named a "UN Ambassador".  He wasn't.  It doesn't seem that hard to not make things up.  And I will agree that there are problems with the UN.  But that doesn't mean we should ignore everything that every UN organization has to say.  Like when we point out that we've sent people off to be tortured.

Peter Kent never seemed like the sharpest knife in the drawer.  It's pretty amazing that he has become the Conservative climate change expert and actually seems to suggest that there might be something going on.  Well done, Peter Kent.  Well done.

Exxon defeated the Canadian Government in a NAFTA challenge.  Apparently we wanted too much environmental testing from them.  Which is totally unfair.

Some guy bought CBC Vancouver's record collection.  Yes, this seems worth the cost savings.

Meh.  Robocalls...proposed regulation...whatever.  Who can even keep track any more?

We talked about this last week but it is a done deal.  Stephen Harper sends CP Rail back to work.

Isn't it sad that the only thing politicians seem to be able to agree on is that it's too hard to buy Canadian wine?  And then they screw it up by jumping all over themselves trying to attach themselves to the feelgoodness of the story?